by Janet Kira Lessin, Chief Focalizer, World Polyamory Association
Obama comes out for gay marriage. A psychology conference discusses the value of polyamorous relationships. Miss America candidate’s born male. Time to come out of the closet. Declare your gender, orientation and relationship choice.
You may have been born male or female. But what gender is your soul? I now have several transgendered friends–some pre, some post-op. Today there are options, choices beyond birth.
I was born female and consider myself a woman. But I have to move into my masculine side to lead, teach, direct or guide. I’m confused as to how I can lead through my feminine self for I have no role models to do so. The female leaders of this world do so through their masculine. Yet instinctively I know there must be a way to be empowered yet remain feminine.
Mickey Diamond who taught/teaches at the University of Hawaii, Manoa researched hermaphrodism and reported to his colleagues at a global symposium in the early 1990s that two out of 100 births are hermaphrodites. Parents and doctors collaborate and secretly make genitalia choices for their child without telling him or her or friends and relatives. The shame is so severe around these abnormal births, that few know how many secret surgeries are done in infancy.
There are 7 billion people on this planet right now and that means, if you do the math, that 70 million people in the world have been born both sexes. I wonder how many have been born that way since births began? Perhaps it’s time we rethink gender completely for it seems we have at least three genders.
In reality, sexuality/gender is more likely a cline (continuum, an overlap), for how many times have you seen masculine females and feminine males? Sometimes I can’t tell which sex someone is.
Several times I’ve seen transgendered people go from male to female and despite their new hormones and operations, they remain more masculine than feminine. Some, like the Miss America candidate are so gorgeous you’d never guess they were once male in a million years. Sometimes post op men to women turn lesbian and chose women to date. It’s all very confusing unless we begin to open up our minds and start accepting the true diversity of our human species.
I am bisexual, hetero leaning which means I love both sexes, love making love with both, have had major, life-compelling relationships with both. But I tend to be with men more often than woman, especially like being with my man, my husband, Sasha. I have more stimulating, intellectual conversations with men than women. I feel more at home with men than women. I have more difficulties with my female relationships. Yet, I miss relating with women and long for deeper understanding of the feminine mind despite the fact that I am female.
My formative years were spent mainly with my girl friends until menses at age 13 when my attention shifted to boys. In fact, my gang of girlfriends abandoned each other for boys then their children when they came along. I never had quite the same relationships with woman as I had when I was a child for I wasn’t able to have children, so I didn’t bond with my friends who became mothers in the same way as I would have had I had children of my own.
Gender’s more realistically a cline, same with sexual preference and relationship styles/choice.
I’m polyamorous, monogamous leaning. I love everyone. I don’t like to live with everyone. I don’t even like to relate with most people on a personal level because our personalities are incompatible. Our morals and values don’t jive. Our tastes differ. Our energy’s out of sync. So I keep people in casual, general or friend mode.
World Polyamory Association: More Loves, More Loving, 14 mei 2012